What the Hell Did I Just Read: A Novel of Cosmic Horror (John Dies at the End), by David Wong

David Wong’s John Dies at the End was one of my favorite books from a couple of years ago, and I was just as happy when he continued the story of David and John in This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don’t Touch It.

David continues his story of the evil activities in a town whose name is undisclosed, mostly so David and John can minimize the number of supernatural tourists and people assuming that they can answer their questions about supernatural happenings. This is because John and David have to deal with these things all the time since they were first given a strange, black, and evil liquid that they end up calling “soy sauce” because of its color. After taking it in the first book they were opened to the ongoing world of the supernatural that most people can’t see.

This book opens with John, David, and David’s girlfriend Amy being chased in their car by unnamed people who want the soy sauce. They throw it into the river, though as magical things will do it ends up finding them again.

Meanwhile the police of undisclosed call the pair in to help with the investigation of a missing girl. The police generally have a dislike for John and David because they’ve been involved in every horrible thing that’s happened in the town the past few years. But for some reason the father of the missing girl would rather have John and David investigate than the cops.

The plot, which in all the books is fluid at best, is the least important part. Ever morose and cynical David, the narrator, and one-armed girlfriend Amy (she lost it in an earlier book and now has a mechanical replacement) have a funny relationship. John is just bizarre. An earlier girlfriend asked him his ideal threesome. His answer “Me, Hitler, and Prince. I just watch.” John had a distorted worldview before the soy sauce.

The language is salty, the descriptions hilarious, and the books never slow down for a second. Wong is one of the few writers who makes me laugh out loud.